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Millennials Versus Gen X-Hype Versus Reality

Millennial guy with both thumbs up.

Gen Y: The Next "Greatest Generation?"

So much has been said about Generation Y (a/k/a “millennials”) being the next “Greatest Generation.” I have a Google alert set up so that I can keep up with all the latest mentions on the web. After all, this is the generation going to college and coming out into the workplace, and as a life and career coach specializing in working with college students, I better keep up with what people are saying.

What I see mostly are summaries of Neil Howe’s popular books Millennials Rising and The Fourth Turning, some of which barely rise above the level of the regurgitated press release.

Before anyone gets upset, I will have to admit that I read Millennials Rising and actually heard Neil Howe deliver a talk at Penn State. I even spoke to him afterward and got his business card.  He seems like a thoughtful, intelligent man and I find many of his insights to be…well, insightful.

But books like these are a mix of research and speculation, and whether their assertions actually pan out is very much related to whether other things change or remain the same. There’s no such thing as “all things being equal” in discussing generational differences. Since there are many unknown factors at play, speculative assumptions need to stand up to the test of time and new evidence.

Popular culture reinforces this belief that Gen Y’s greatness is factual, and often  compares this to some very negative beliefs about Generation X. But do these stereotypes hold up to the light of day? A recent study suggests that in some ways, the answer is a clear “no,” and that many stereotypes about Gen X should be re-examined.

Gen X Grunge Guy

Gen X: Did They Get a Bum Rap?

The study, by the National Conference on Citizenship, is reviewed in a nice piece on NewGeography.com. Some interesting findings:

  • More X’ers (35%) volunteer than Gen Y and Baby Boomers, and 39% of them increased their volunteer commitments last year. Only 29% of Millennials and 25% of Boomers increased their similar commitments.
  • Despite the attention paid to Millennials during the last election, they actually participated at a lower rate than any other age group.
  • Fewer Millennials give money to persons they are not related to than any other age group, and X’ers actually placed second to the Baby Boomers in this regard.
  • There seems to be some truth to the assertion that X’ers are more cynical about government but this is also balanced out by their civic engagement, political participation and volunteering. So you can call them cynical, just don’t call them apathetic.

As a proud member of Gen X, I have always bucked up against many of the negative stereotypes applied to my generational cohort, so I was glad to read this article today to get some reaffirmation of my belief that we are not a wasted generation. And I was also glad to see that some of the hyperbole about Millennials was unfounded. But the real point I arrived at was simple enough…it’s easy to make generalizations when we talk about generational differences, but a stereotype is still a stereotype.

Individuals create their own destinies, despite the labels society places on them. In the end, both generations will exceed some expectations but fall short in others, and only the test of time will tell the tale.

Understanding the Helicopter Parent Mindset

Susie & Brendan Cook

Susie & Brendan Cook

These are my children, Susie & Brendan.

Susie is one and Brendan is four.

Every day, I get closer to understanding the Helicopter Parent mindset.

Susie is just starting to walk, and every day, she gets more coordinated and confident. Over the last two weeks, she has gone from taking tentative steps to blazing across the floor. It’s so cute to watch her. She gets this smile, and babbles “Deh-dee” and points at me. I can tell she is proud of her progress, and she seems to understand that I am proud of her (in whatever way a baby of that age could.)

But yesterday, Susie had her first big fall. Sarah was out getting the stroller to walk down to Brendan’s preschool and pick him up for a picnic lunch. She’ d just stepped out the door when it happened. Susie and I were watching a baby show On Demand, about sounds. She was happy and I was kind of fascinated with it as well.

As she often does, Susie toddled off to one side of the room, with a toy in both hands. I looked away for a second, and then I heard a clunk. Susie had tripped (either on the edge of the carpet or even worse, maybe over my big-ass feet) and landed, face-down, straight on the hardwood floor. And she let out one heck of a scream.

As I rushed to pick her up, she began really wailing and as I picked her up off the floor, I could see her mouth was bleeding. I pulled her close, hugging her and stroking her head, though I was getting blood on my shirt. But I didn’t care. I just wished I hadn’t looked away. I wished that, if it was my foot, that I didn’t have such big feet.

Sarah came in and asked what happened, Susie reached out for her, because (and this is okay, she is a baby after all) only Mommy will do sometimes when she needs comfort.

I hate the idea that I might one day become a helicopter parent. I want more than anything for my kids to be self-reliant, confident…ready for the world. I know I can’t protect them from everything.

But for now, I understand a little bit better that need helicopter parents have to hold their children close and protect them from the world.

If only that was realistic.

If only that was healthy.

If only I had smaller feet.

5 Life Lessons to Take from Conan’s Departure on the Tonight Show

As I’ve watched events unfold over the past weeks around NBC’s late night shakeup and Conan O’ Brien’s departure, I’ve seen some opportunities for great teachable moments. Here are some lessons that today’s college students can draw from Conan’s experience.

  1. Sometimes, your life and career directions are set off course by the decisions of other people. When this happens, you need to accept that you can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.
  2. When faced with these difficult situations, you can go along for someone else’s ride, or choose to do what you believe is best for you. This may mean walking away from attractive opportunities. It may hurt, but doing things you don’t believe in can wear down your spirit as well.
  3. Just like they say at the end of It’s a Wonderful Life, “No man is a failure who has friends.” The legions of fans and the awesome celebrity guests who helped him close out his run are a great testimonial to Conan’s likeability and the loyalty of his fans and friends.
  4. It’s more important to be grateful for the opportunities you’ve had in life than bitter about the ones you didn’t get. Conan’s words of thanks to NBC for giving him the opportunities he had in his career were hearfelt and genuine. Both his fans and his detractors will remember that, and it goes a long way toward showing his character.
  5. And finally, in Conan’s own words: “Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.”