As the father of two small children, I have been getting a much closer look at what parents go through when their student makes it to college, and it’s given me some perspectives on the work I would like to do with college students and their parents to assist in managing the many life transitions that come with sending a student off to college.
Like Francis Bacon famously noted, “Knowledge is power.” Or, like G.I. Joe said, “Knowing is half the battle.” So it follows that parents who have a better understanding of some basics of student development theory and the developmental processes they can expect to witness their student going through, will be better equipped to help their student adjust to college, and to to manage their own transitions in style and approaches as their child gets older.
It’s simple enough. You can lead a camel to water, but you can’t make him drink. It also does no good to sit and watch him die of thirst, when the water is right there. Instead, know what your student will likely be experiencing and encoruage your student to take initiative to discover how to find the water (resources on campus) they need, and to make their own choices about whether to drink, or stay thirsty.
In my work with students and parents, I hope to help students explore their progress along different developmental paths, and to decide for themselves whether they are making the progress they are hoping for in life. I also hope to help parents understand that many of the issues they seek to protect their student from, or fix for them, are the exact developmental opportunities their student needs to become a healthy, functioning adult.
I can’t say this will be easy for just anyone. There are certainly many factors to consider and explore. But through examining the issues, gauging understanding of developmental processes, setting appropriate goals and revisiting progress that has been made, I hope to help students and their parents move their relationships through the usual stages of growth and development, and toward mutually respectful relationships that foster independent thought and action.
For a brief primer on Student Development Theories, visit this page from Central Michigan University.
If you are a parent of a college student and would like to explore life coaching for yourself or your student, or to take part in an online workshop with other parents on student development theory and common student development issues, please contact me at sean@higheredlifecoach.com. I would be glad to consult with you individually about your interests and goals, and to outline some ways we might work together to manage successful college transitions.
Related posts:
- Are You a Helicopter Parent?
- Student Issues Explorer: What will determine your happiness in college?
Sean Cook has 15 years of experience working in Higher Education, as a Student Affairs Professional. He is a Certified Life and Career Coach through the Life Purpose Institute, a program accredited by the International Coach Federation. Sean also writes about career issues in higher education for our companion site, HigherEdCareerCoach.com and is a periodic contributor to the Student Affairs Collaborative Blog.
