Yay for Diversity!

This is a two-part series on helping scratch the surface of dealing with difference for the first time on campus.

Last week, I shared with our readers the joys and struggles that come along with college students experiencing difference for the first time on campus.  Whether it is because of coming from a small town, or not being used to such a wide variety of people, encountering difference can be challenging for some students and their families.  Today I will share some tips for the new student, as well as the family/hometown friends on how to help their student adjust and embrace this newfound diversity on campus.

For the student

1. Don’t judge the difference.  One of the things I see often in my professional experiences is students placing judgment on others that are different from them. That judgment can come in something as simple as “they are lesser than me” because they ________ (speak a different first language, have different colored skin, come from a different country, date people of the same sex, etc) or it can be something more prominent as outwardly attacking another group through telling discriminating jokes in public, writing nasty things on someone’s dry erase board in the halls, or bullying another individual on campus.  It is natural for us as human beings to “reel back in” when we encounter something new, but I encourage you to challenge your beliefs and don’t judge what you encounter.
2. Attempt to understand.  Often times, our judgment or confusion about difference comes from pure misunderstanding.  Take the time to get to know someone as a person, then get to know them as someone who is different.  As you get to know someone, they will be more likely (and often times very willing) to share aspects of their culture, beliefs, etc with you.
3. Be brave and confront yourself and others.  As a young person, it can be really daunting to confront yourself and your peers about negative beliefs and actions.  This could result in you being made fun of by your friends, or being cast out from your social group.  But, confronting your peers and correcting them (saying something like “What do you really mean when you say ‘that’s so gay’?”) can be a really powerful and life changing thing.  Besides, if your “friends” don’t believe in what you say, you don’t need them as friends anyway.
4. Try something new.  I was in grad school before I really began to understand Native American culture, despite growing up in the upper Midwest.  I did so by taking an opportunity to do a class project centered around powwows and the local tribe near my school.  I went to the local powwow and was the only (visible) white person there, but it was great to try something new.  People recognized that I was doing something new and different from what I was used to, and I thus I met a lot of people and they taught me a lot about the culture.  Trying something new helped me learn about our differences and similarities, and also a lot of history that’s not in the books!

For the family/hometown friends

1. Don’t judge the difference.  Notice a similarity from above?  As parents, family members, or friends from childhood, you have a lot of influence on what your student thinks and how they shape their world.  When your student shares that they met a Muslim student or their lab partner is gay, support them through this experience by not casting your judgment down on their experience.  Or, if you have positive things to add to their new experiences and learning about difference, do share them so they know they are getting support from home.
2. Understand “those people” exist everywhere.  I often hear parents and families say things like “well, those kind of people aren’t where we are from.”  So what?!?  Just because someone of a different race, religion, or sexual orientation doesn’t exist in your town doesn’t mean your student shouldn’t be exposed to them and learn in community from them.   Besides, the trend is more and more that students don’t return to their hometowns after graduation, so don’t you want your student to be ready for a new world out there?
3. Understand your own experience with difference.  Similar to the comments above, it is important to understand where you are at in relation to openness to diversity and difference.  It is great to meet students who have parents active in diverse workplaces and organizations, this often times has laid a groundwork for an open and accepting student into college.  But if you/your family isn’t as positive, check your prejudice and stereotypes at the door.
4. Your student will change; it’s natural.  We have all heard the phrase “our world is becoming more diverse”.  It is true.  And because of that, as students experience college, they will change.  They change because of the academic knowledge they obtain, but they also change based on positive and negative experiences with others.  Understanding that your students perspectives on others different from them will change over time makes the growing process that much easier.

Even at this stage in my career, and at this point in society, I often have students approach me at the end of the school year or the end of a work contract and tell them that I am the first gay person they have ever met.  I always come back really quickly and tell that I am probably the first openly gay person they have met, but rather that they probably know many other gay people….but that the difference is not so obvious.  I still find myself amazed that at 18 years old, in 2010, that I could be the first person that they know to be gay.

Still, it is important that I recognize and celebrate this difference and new experience for the students I encounter.  It is through these experiences that I can help students and their families grow and change towards a more accepting attitude, but it also helps me grow and change into a more sharing individual.   I hope these tips for both student and family can make your own personal experiences that much more positive.    As always, I welcome comments and feedback below!

Mickey Fitch is a higher education professional who has crafted her career around the residence life experience on the college campus.  Mickey loves to tell stories and help students make the most of their residential experience on campus.  A native to the upper Midwest, Mickey is currently undergoing a job search to find her opportunity to serve in residence life.  On the personal side, Mickey is an avid fisherman and outdoorswoman and is currently engaged in a life-changing health and fitness journey!  You can learn more about her at mickeyfitch.weebly.com.

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What's Up with Helicopter Parents?

ABC news has been exploring “Helicopter Parents” and their impact on students and higher education again. Below are two links to really eye-opening stories. The first is pretty recent, the second from two years ago.

Please consider watching and posting your comments. I’d love to start some discussions about the topic.

What do you think about “helicopter parents?” Are their impacts on students and colleges good or bad? What should institutions do to help these parents, so their students can succeed?

Helicopter Moms: Hurting or Helping Your Kids?

Helicopter Parents Hover Over Kid’s Lives

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The Voice of College by Kipp Van Dyke, Dr. Michael Severin & Nicolas Kline

“College is about 3 things: homework, fun, and
sleep…but you can only choose 2.”

So begins the first chapter of The Voice of College, a fun and useful primer on the college experience.

Authors Kipp Van Dyke and Michael Severin met as orientation leaders during their own time as undergraduates, and went on to hold various Student Affairs positions. One time when Van Dyke was visiting with him, Severin got an e-mail from a writer who was looking to interview student leaders and get their tips on campus life. This excited the two, and they began many conversations about how they could put together a book of their own to give advice and tips to college students and their parents.

The book is an easy read, in part because of a series of symbols illustrated by Nicolas Kline, one of Van Dyke’s former resident assistants, which denote various ideas, concepts, and insights on the college experience: Shared Scares (common concerns), the Struggle Bus (various hardships), the Magic Carpet (tips and advice), Liquid Gold (powerful information), Awkward Moments (light-hearted looks at embarrassing situations)  and Word on the Street (things you need to know during college).

The Voice of College takes readers through the first year of college beginning with the summer beforehand, through the adjustments that come during the Fall semester, and the changes students experience during Spring, as they plan their first Spring Break, Summer vacation, and the sophomore year and beyond.

A sample chapter is available at their website as a downloadable .pdf file, and the book is available on Amazon.Com.(affiliate link) You can hear more about the book on our BlogTalkRadio show, from an interview conducted with Van Dyke earlier this month.

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This is a two-part series on helping scratch the surface of dealing with difference for the first time on campus.

If I had a dollar for every time I heard a student say ‘I’m from a small town, I’ve never met someone who is ________ (fill in the blank) before” I’d be a rich person.  Also, I can’t tell you the number of times our housing office got called for a roommate change request because parents or students were having an issue because their roommate was of a different race.

For a lot of students, coming to a college or university is the first time they’ve encountered difference in their life.  It is the first time they are aware they are encountering difference.  Perhaps it is their Resident Assistant who identifies as an atheist, or maybe it’s their classmate with a physical disability, or maybe their professor speaks with a “non-American” accent.  Regardless of what the difference is, many students struggle through these changing experiences.

Often times, students want to revert back to what they know to be safe…hanging out with students that look, act, sound, date, and socialize with people just like them.  Maybe it even means hanging out with fellow students from their graduating class, even if they weren’t really friends in high school.   Sometimes this is accompanied by judgment, which in some of its worst incidences include lashing out against other students that are different than them based on ignorance or lack of exposure.

For other students, and this is often times a smaller group, they dive head first into getting to know people who are different from them.  These students thrive on going to all the cultural activities they can, and ask tons of questions.  They are the ones who call home talking about the foods that they tried, the new words they learned, and their lab partner who came out to them.

One thing is clear, though. Most students, as they progress through college,  come to understand that difference is good.  Difference allows for opportunities that weren’t presented to us in the towns we grew up in, or the church we attended.  Difference allows us to have more than one perspective on issues, and allows us to learn critical thinking skills to formulate mature, informed opinions on life issues.   Difference allows us to see our world as not just the college we attend, but a much larger society we fit into.

As referenced in a recent post on identity exploration, students often times come into conflict with parents, family members, or significant others that they left at home.  This conflict comes from this experimentation with difference, and sometimes can be very difficult for a family to work through.

In my next post, I’ll offer a series of tips for not only the new student, but also family/hometown friends on how to ease into understanding and celebration of difference on campus.

Mickey Fitch is a higher education professional who has crafted her career around the residence life experience on the college campus.  Mickey loves to tell stories and help students make the most of their residential experience on campus.  A native to the upper Midwest, Mickey is currently undergoing a job search to find her opportunity to serve in residence life.  On the personal side, Mickey is an avid fisherman and outdoorswoman and is currently engaged in a life-changing health and fitness journey!  You can learn more about her at mickeyfitch.weebly.com.

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Guest Blogger Shonda Goward of firstgenerationu.org suggests 6 great ways to save!

Everyone needs to save money these days.  Although it may seem like financial aid will pay for your entire education, student loans must be paid back.  In fact it is easier to walk away from a home loan than a student loan.  So what is a college student to do?  Get creative when it comes to maximizing a minimal budget.  Here are a few tips.

1) Learn to cook.

College meal plans are great if you absolutely cannot feed yourself.  However, many students do not eat all the meals on their plans and end up wasting money.  A meal plan can cost over $2000 so either eat every meal in your plan, or learn to cook what you need.

2) Get a job that has dual purposes.

While it may be fun to work for the school’s athletic teams, unless you want to start a career in sports then find a position that matches your needs or work interests.  If you can’t cook, then get a job at the cafeteria.  You can earn a paycheck and eat!  Keep your grades up so that you’re eligible to become a residential advisor.  You can save several thousand dollars in room and board, and gain valuable leadership experience.  There is a reason that the saying “time is money” is an overworked cliché.  Make the most of every hour.

3) Rent or borrow books.

As a college student I stopped buying books after my sophomore year.  I got smart and began checking them out from the library.  My institution had a consortium agreement with area colleges, and the books that weren’t available from my library I borrowed from other schools.  Sometimes a great public library will have the books you need for your humanities classes.  Now there are companies such as Chegg.com which will allow you to rent textbooks for about half of their normal cost.  If you absolutely must own your books be sure to check half.com to see if you can buy them cheaper than at your school’s bookstore.

4) Take general education courses at your local community college during the summer.

You may have to pay for these courses yourself, but at prices such as $50 per credit for a three credit course it is worth the investment.  Obtain a copy of the catalog of your local college and sit down with your academic advisor to be sure that the classes will transfer over and save yourself not only money, but free up time to explore interesting courses at your university or graduate early and go start earning cash.

5) Move off campus.

If you are at a university that is located in an inexpensive area it may actually be more economical to move off campus with friends than to continue to stay on campus.  Living on campus is great for freshmen who need to learn the campus community and meet new people, but once you have established your circle why not save?  Keep in mind that you may need to sign a 12-month lease, so be sure you aren’t planning to go home for the summer or have a summer sublet lined up.

6) Buy a refurbished computer.

Many schools are scaling back on the number of computer labs they have, and the hours these labs are open.  Also, many classes are now solely online.  Instead of buying the latest and greatest machine consider buying a used laptop or desktop.  Craigslist has many deals as tech junkies often want to sell their old computers.  Just be sure that whatever you buy is compatible with your university’s systems, and that the computer isn’t damaged in some way.

You may not need all of these techniques, but utilizing one or two could seriously cut your college costs, and allow you to have more income when you begin working instead of handing your whole paycheck over to your loan company!

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