Many students experiment with ongoing experiments in re-creating themselves, so it shouldn’t shock parents when the child they leave behind in August comes back at Thanksgiving with a tattoo, different colored hair, a major change in lifestyle or even surprising pronouncements about religion, politics, sexual orientation, etc. How parents can be supportive, even when they don’t understand.
Its been a while since we explored concepts related to Arthur Chickering’s 7 Vectors of Development. In the last installment, we explored moving from autonomy to interdependence. This installment explores the next vector in the series: Developing Mature Interpersonal Relationships.
Development of emotional autonomy involves a gradual decrease in the need for approval and reassurance of others, toward independence and self regulation. Recognition of interdependence follows from independence as the student finds a middle ground between being one’s own person and slavish conformity.
How can parents support this natural development? How can college students assert autonomy and move toward interdependence?
Sean Cook has 15 years of experience working in Higher Education, as a Student Affairs Professional. He is a Certified Life and Career Coach through the Life Purpose Institute, a program accredited by the International Coach Federation. Sean also writes about career issues in higher education for our companion site, HigherEdCareerCoach.com and is a periodic contributor to the Student Affairs Collaborative Blog.