life lessons

When I first came to college, I had all sorts of nonsense running through my head about college and what it would be all about. I looked forward to meeting new people and making friends, maybe joining a fraternity, and (this was a surprise to many who knew me) Air Force ROTC. I quickly found out that many of my preconceptions about what college would be like were based on television and movies, and not real life. I had rose-colored glasses in a big way and soon enough, they were stripped away and I had to see college for what it really was: hard work (and not just the classes-the meeting people and having a social life was work, too.)

If I had to do it again, I’d have a lot of advice for that fresh-faced first-year, and quite a bit of it would blow his mind.

• College may be a fresh start, but you can’t really “re-create” yourself in some new image. You will always be essentially the same person. The more you push against it, the more misery you will create. Just be yourself.
• You may be an adult, but that doesn’t mean you can’t ask for help. In fact, knowing when you need help is an essential adult life skill. So prove you know when to ask for help, and how to find it. It’s the adult way to do things.
• As long as we’re talking about it, try to do new things on your own before asking for help. It’s great to have the support of friends and family, but if you have so much help from others that you don’t know how to handle everyday life choices, you’re actually co-dependent. Your chief life goal during college should be to become more independent and move toward inter-dependence in your relationships. Other people can’t do this for you. If they do, you may pass your classes, but you’ll fail college life.

These are just 3 brief life lessons I’d share with myself, if met me at orientation or on the way into the residence hall. I’d like to hear yours.

What can you share? If they knew now, what you know now, that you wish you’d known then…. what would they know?