tasks

As a parent, you’ve invested a lot of time and energy in helping your student get into the college of their choice. You’ve probably spent a good deal of time supporting activities that would bolster intellectual development, and help your student make a good argument for admission…SAT prep courses, tutors, study skills guides, etc.

But all the work it took to get your student to college won’t matter if your student can’t take care of himself or herself. So it is vitally important to prepare your child for the practical physical demands life will present them during their college years.

Does your student have good exercise and fitness habits? College can be an especially sedentary time for many. Talk to your student and ask about fitness goals and routines. Most colleges have fitness facilities, and some may even have personal trainers available. Encourage your student to at least make an initial visit to the fitness center to see what is available. Other ideas for helping your student stay fit: a) buy a bike to help your student get around campus and town b) get a Wii and Wii Fit. c) Make sure your student gets a fitness membership if there is an additional cost at his or her school.

Talk to your student about eating right. Everyone’s heard of the “freshman 15,” but fewer probably realize that today’s dining halls are known for variety, vegetarian and vegan choices, salad bars and light menu options. Nutrition information is usually available for items being served, and some schools have trained nutritionists on staff that can help students make better eating choices, or can give advice on what students can eat if they have allergies or other special dietary concerns.  When you drop your student off, or when you come to visit, consider checking out the dining halls so you can see for yourself what’s available.

Encourage your student to get enough sleep. College is a legendary land of all-night cram sessions, late-night parties and sleeping well-past noon. These habits, unfortunately, can be disruptive, and set the stage for difficulties in establishing and maintaining a productive routine. You probably have a good awareness of your student’s sleep habits. If you are like many parents, you have unwittingly set the stage for bad habits, in attempts to be helpful, by letting your child sleep in, calling from downstairs to wake him or her up, and egging him or her on to get dressed and go to school. You may spend the first few weeks of college worrying if your student is getting up for class. Do whatever you can to resist the urge to act as a human alarm clock, by making wake-up calls to your student. This will only enable your student to avoid the personal responsibility required that goes with establishing a productive routine, and may contribute to roommate issues, to boot. As a Residence Life professional, I can’t tell you how many times I have talked with students requesting a room change in part because they couldn’t adjust to their roommate’s parents and their expectations. Sooner or later, your student will have to own this part of the adult routine. After all, you will die one day, and can’t be expected to make the wake-up call so your child doesn’t miss your funeral.

If your student has marginal personal hygiene habits, make sure they have an abundance of the necessary toiletries, and talk to them about how often they should change their sheets, do their laundry, take a shower, etc. Most residence halls still have shared common bathrooms, and this can be a real adjustment for many students. This is likely to be one of the most awkward conversations you have with your child, but it’s good preparation for the possibility they will need to discuss a situation with a roommate. I can tell you from experience that hygiene concerns can cause a lot of awkwardness and stress between roommates.

Make sure your student is well-equipped to keep the dorm room clean. Many schools have cleaning supplies, vacuums and mops available for checkout, but having supplies in the room makes it more likely your student will use them. Buy a handheld vacuum for cleaning up small messes, a broom and dustpan, a duster, some window cleaner, disinfectant, some furniture duster, paper towels and some cleaning cloths. Add in some disinfecting wipes to make it easy to keep surfaces germ-free.

Make sure your student knows how to do laundry using both conventional and high-efficiency washers. Many people have HE machines at home, but in case you don’t, the process isn’t all that different. You just use less detergent, or one designated to work in HE machines. Most college laundries have directions posted as well. Whirlpool’s Institute of Fabric Science has a great College Laundry 101 guide that even has tips for dealing with common laundry stains one might encounter in college.

Managing finances is one of the biggest shocks college students face. Help your student learn to budget. There are many ways to set up a budget and lots of resources online, but sticking to a budget and avoiding the pitfalls of credit card debt are good habits to reinforce early. Whether your student has financial need or not, encourage him or her to get a part-time job to support their social outings and extraneous expenses. It’s a good way to build discipline and learn to track spending. You can still cover the necessities, and provide a credit card “for emergencies only,” because unexpected expenses will come up. Just be specific in telling your student what constitutes an emergency (good examples might include fixing a flat tire or a hospital visit, while beer and pizza don’t qualify in most parents’ minds.) If you want to make sure that your student has a reserve to fall back on, or you want to give an “allowance,” one way to be sure the funds are spent on necessities is to buy a gift card to Walmart or Target. This allows you to set a spending limit within your means.

Tackling these challenges should help build your student’s confidence, and hopefully assure you that he or she will be able to handle the challenges of post-college life. If you find that your student is struggling, consider hiring a life coach to help get things back on track. One advantage of doing so is that a coach can take a more detached approach than many parents might be able to, and help the student set practical goals for themselves, independent of any interesting family dynamics. The coach can provide perspective, while allowing the student to set goals and work toward ways to meet them. If you are interested in learning more about what a coach can offer, e-mail me at sean@higheredlifecoach.com.

Coming soon: Managing Emotions.